#AuthenticAwareness: Stop shaming meiotic beings! (2022)

(FYI: This was inspired by one that’s equally eyebrow-raising, but sadly not intended to be perceived as sarcasm nor as the histrionic fiction that it truly is: https://www.ncsautism.org/blog//authenticawareness-stop-shaming-severe-autism) 

Couple in bed, from deposit photos dot com

*Greetings! How was your night? Oh, it was okay? That’s good. Let me tell you about mine.

After giving the kids their nighttime meds, setting the alarms, and waiting about an hour or two to be certain everyone was asleep, hubby and I got down to business.

Whew chile! When I tell you that man blew my back OUT. Had me practically “speaking in tongues.” I don’t know if it’s that new keto thing he’s doing or what, but OMG…I love it. At one point I was hoping I wouldn’t wake the kids up. Ooh, and we recorded some of it too – I gotta show you that footage. It is HOT.

Wait…what’s wrong? Why are you so uncomfortable?

Hold up. Did you just say that it’s “shameful,” “undignified,” and “embarrassing” for me to talk about this, and it’s “inappropriate” for me to show you our sex tape? How can you say hubby’s d!*k pics make you feel squeamish?

How DARE you.

Sex is a natural part of life. It’s a biological fact. How can there be shame or embarrassment? Birds do it; bees do it; dogs and cats do it. Humans do it. Almost every single one of us is a product of sexual intercourse. It’s a reality. Why can’t I talk about it freely, in front of whomever I wish, even if they find it upsetting?

Please tell me…what is so singularly despicable about my all night sexcapade that its particulars must be banished from the public sphere?

I am sick of prudes like you who try to erase and censor sex positivity and natural physiological actions by labeling their manifestations as “undignified” or “embarrassing” and therefore unworthy of public dissemination. Nothing could be further from the truth. We dignify our existence, as living beings who reproduce via sexual reproduction, by bringing these acts into the light, by voicing the realties of this natural act.

By telling the whole world how invigorating it is to have consecutive orgasms, we are doing immeasurably important service. We need increased visibility of the best way to perform fellatio and cunnilingus. Trading stories about the best lubes for  anal and our favorite edible lingerie can translate into stunning progress in the bedroom. Let’s face it…some of y’all have a pretty lackluster love life. 

I’m here to spread #AuthenticAwareness about the sex lives of disabled families. I’m sick of being erased. In between my kids’ head banging, punching holes in every wall on the planet, 24 hour feces smearing, and plain old ruining everyone’s lives by their mere existence, hubby and I try to be sure to sneak in a few precious moments to make sure we get it on. But only with prophylaxis, of course – we’ve gotta be careful not to accidentally conceive and risk bringing another one of those undesirable disabled children into the world. Heavens, no. 

We need graphic, detailed stories, depictions, images, and videos of sex acts instead of hiding it. Visibility. Stories. Truths, no matter how upsetting to some people. 

Next time a prude attacks you for sharing stories of how you tossed your partner’s salad or whether you spit or swallow, ask them what they think of their parents having sex to create them and to probe their souls for the source of their ludicrous double standard.  

*(In case it isn't clear, this is a parody and intended to be sarcastic.)